Voice
I have a muted voice.
I am speaking loudly and orderly while I’m thinking, but the problem is that you can’t hear it.
Nobody except me.
I think it’s worse than I am actually mute.
and I’m at the point where I just want to shut out everything to make my points clear.
I approached them and asked a question, but my voice is nearly audible for people to smile and stop walking.
So I went on as usual, didn’t bother to say anything again.
I do figure out things I need to figure out just like everyone else.
But it comes much slower for me because I always fear to speak up, to draw attention and to stare at someone.
I was standing in front of the cashier, thinking of things to order. And I found myself rehearse before I talk. As soon as I opened my mouth, things stopped flowing. They saw my lips moving but my words were followed by a confused look and a quick nonchalant question “what’s that?”
I adjusted my volume and annunciation, and then repeated it again. It didn’t go quite well as planned.
I’d always have to stand before the person and try talk personally after they had already asked “any questions?” because I wasn’t comfortable enough to talk in front of the crowd.
My voice has ups&downs. Sometimes I laugh in a way that everyone would want to laugh after me. Sometimes, I close my eyes and try to squeeze a sound, but am only left in black and silence.
Storytelling opens my throat, and I no long speak with my mouth but heart.
I don’t want to sound angry.
I don’t want to sound weak.
I don’t want to sound untrustworthy.
I have a voice and I don’t have to scream for it to be heard.
